Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
