I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
