I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
