I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
