her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
