That's intense
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
