70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
