Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
