ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
