she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
