birth control should be required to get into college
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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