Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
