They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's shark week go big or go home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
