is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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