I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
