Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
