On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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