they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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