she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
