I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
