We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
