the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
