Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
