Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
