Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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