I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
