you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Boobs speak an international language.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
