well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Randomize
