dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my being single is dangerous.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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