i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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