You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
