I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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