after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
