Buhtt sex?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
