I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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