it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize