Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
