he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
