you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
