SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
