im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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