yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
