What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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