Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
