Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
