Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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