I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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