If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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