I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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