I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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