he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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