i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
