this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
