He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
