I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
