Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize