I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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