He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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