after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
