So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
