Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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