redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
