You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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