It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
