Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
