dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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