the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize