scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
