She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
should my penis look like a turkey
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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