she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
