ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize