Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
