In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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